I don't know how to NOT talk about church, NOT take it personal when people screw you behind your back, and how to NOT get passionate about the excitement of new people come and pain of people going.
I wish I didn't get SO involved, but it's part of me. In my college days @ Liberty, I jumped around from church to church not even being noticed, those were my bitter days though (my home church had just been ripped apart at the core).
I have a hard time trusting people based on how much they love me (or how much I love them), because when my childhood church fell apart I watched people that I thought were going to be there until the end walk away with hateful comments. My dad started that church from the an old Dance studio that loaned it to us...It was my family. At home we talked about our family and that church in the same sentence, HOW do you just walk away from that and not still have some shrapnel left in your heart.
I'm use to people saying, "we just feel that it is time to move on" or "God is moving us somewhere else"...I really prob could make a comedy show about all the things people say when they leave a church except the TRUTH. MAYBE that is the truth for some but their are others who say those things and then turn away from me in the grocery store. They think they have given you an answer that will pacify you, but in reality they don't fool anyone.
How do you not get too attached, but still passionately LOVE those that God brings through the doors...there has to be balance somewhere. I still haven't figured this one out.
I just don't know how to Quit on a church, I don't know how to be picky with certain areas enough to say "that's it, I'm done".
Sorry I got all serious on you!
These are just things I ponder when I get discouraged or hurt over someone bailing on something good.
I usually have my pity party and then turn back to God's unfailing embrace to hear those sweet words, "I've got this, just trust me".
HE is the ONLY thing you can count on and you can always count on him to Love you in the midst of your
God was perfect, therefor you do not have to be.
A piece of my dysfunctional self, my gift to you...
Carry on.
Abbs*
This is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteChurch can really suck sometimes...it's much like Noah's ark...full of crap - but the only thing floating. Love your comments about the gospel and resting in God's perfection...it allows me to breath in the midst of my many imperfections. I only wish I could daily believe in the power of the gospel...instead of continuing to run to the performance treadmill.
Keep bringing it strong Abigail.
Our Church (that we love) has been facing the same sort of junk. It's so disappointing! Thank you for such a meaningful, tranparent post.
ReplyDeleteI am thankful daily that I don't have to "have it all together" to turn to my Saviour. I had a dear friend just leave our church and it has been very painful. I think I've decided to keep loving passionately, and when it hurts, lay it down before the King. Thanks for your honesty :)
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