On a Serious Note...

Let me talk about something that is on the rise in our generation and the ones to come and is tearing marriages apart.....
Pornography.
It is prevalent among the church and I think too many times men (women do it too) tell their wives that it is a struggle (the ones that actually DO tell their wives)
but that it is NORMAL, It doesn't have to be!
Ask them how they would feel if it were you doing the lusting on the computer, would they take the cop out that it is normal??

Ladies THAT should make your angry, if it doesn't then YOU are letting your husband DEVALUE you!
I get angry just thinking about you not letting it upset you!
It IS adultery, and it is a defiling of the marriage bed.

Matthew 5:28- But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

You CANNOT have true intimacy without putting this kind of sexual sin to death, (trying to keep it under control by yourself, does not count)

Hebrew 13:4-Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

I personally think that is is sick how many men will tell their wives that it is normal among men and that you (women) don't understand that because you were wired different...
Let me tell you we were BOTH wired for sex, Men DO NOT need it.
Where is that in the bible??? You won't find it....so quit buying into it!
If your read any of Song Of Solomon, you can quickly understand that they were BOTH desiring it.

The more men spread that sex is their need, like food, they WILL take it as their right....and If you don't give them their "Need/right" they WILL go elsewhere for it (porn, masturbation, and then possibly to another woman.)
The more that women are told that they aren't wired for it, the more they won't care for it.

Truth is that at one point in time this was not a struggle with all men, but over time men tell each other that and guess what...BAM it is a struggle. With their own mouths they are giving themselves an excuse to defile what should be holy and pure.

Ladies, DO NOT just assume that your husband is above this. Be honest and ask him, or watch for the signs.

Signs can be, but not limited to:
late night on computer after you go to bed
getting angry when you tell them no (regarding sex)
and the biggest!
the history being deleted from your computer regularly...


You can get help for this, your marriage can be saved. Don't settle when your husband says, "I'm trying to quit", or "All my guy friends struggle with it, it's completely normal".....That is exactly what the father of lies wants you to believe.
Get help!
You can get a program on your computer called Covenant Eyes, that will send a daily report to someone of the sights being visited
DO NOT ask to have these sent to you....that is WAY to much emotional stress that a wife does not need, It is not your Job to police them.
Let Godly guys that choose to walk recovery together keep him accountable for these things.

If you need to talk to someone you can learn more by going to the Route1520 website located under me favorites.
PLEASE don't hesitate, your feelings are valid and you are a precious Jewel to God and deserve to be treated like that.
If you are dealing with your husband going outside the relationship to another woman, check out Lyryn's story
This is a marriage that is seeking help for their problems.
If you need to talk to her I'm sure she would listen and offer advice and encouragement.

P.S. Do NOT shame your husband though! it will make him run faster to his addiction....after all shame drives addiction.

Seek help, especially if you have children....They desperately need an example of what God intended the marriage bed to be like.....PURE.
They need you model what it means to keep yourself pure.

If this is left unaddressed it could possible lead to actual sex with another woman...because this like any other drug will numb you and you WILL need more and more just like any other addict.
Any addict will tell you they have control of it, until they try to stop.

I am here if you need someone to talk to...


I hope that you will get help if it is needed, put it to DEATH, because It IS death to a marriage.

(If you want to talk personally, feel free to email me at alpardue@liberty.edu)

Love you all,
Abbs