Taking a moment to breathe

Having 3 boys all under the age of 4 leaves me feeling at the end of the day like I have just herded cattle all day long. Some days like today, I feel like all I have done from the time they woke up to the time their little eyes shut that all I have done was discipline them. I believe my fear of them not knowing what it means to love others more than yourself is greater than my fear of them growing up.
While I know it is important to teach them those things, I do not want to have the regrets when they are gone of not playing with them enough. Sad...I know. But I feel like if I reflect on their cute little faces and the fact that they won't ever be this age again I will learn to spend some time just enjoying these fantastic creatures God has assigned to me. Cole, my 4 yr old, has started to become aware of his surrounding and how he fits into it all. He wants to talk discuss topics like lying, stealing, and his feelings in situation where he feels lonely, sad, or angry.
I can reason with him, and it is such a fun age to teach things and watch him get it.
Eli is at such a hard stage, I'm not sure if the twos or threes is harder. He has such a tender heart that he will do most anything for you, but the minute he senses that you are telling him to do something it is OVER! He will throw himself in the floor and ask for the opposite of what he wants and when you give it to him he suddenly wants the other (my conclusion of this behavior, after much observation, is that he wants to control the situation and me). Gage, my butterball, whose cheeks are edible and smile is contagious. I'm constantly kissing his face and enjoying all the time I can soak of before he wants to be independent from me like his brothers.

I could not imagine my life without my boys...funny I always wanted a girl, but I am finally at a stage of maturity in my life where I can say I want one more kid to complete my dream of 4 kids, but I would be just as happy with another boy. (not to say I won't become a total hypocrite with my next pregnancy rooting for a pink one, but deep down I would be grateful to escape the drama that follows one).

I'm going to be an Aunt for the first time in about 3 weeks to my niece and I can't wait to SPOIL her! I want to give her the world already and I haven't even met her, I think a lot of those feelings go back to her story (not enough time now to tell) but WOW what a miracle she is! She and God have proved the medical world wrong, don't you just love when God shows up?! I am always reminded of in the Bible on a few different occasions where it says, "Perhaps, God will...." I feel like that is a little piece of sarcasm in the Bible....like Perhaps?? you doubted? did you not know that HE hold the world in His hands.

wow is it late, I'm chipping into really good sleep time now!
those little monkeys will be up in less than 7 hours...

gnight*