"Patterson, Party of 6!"

Here is my thoughts on this the day we found out....

May 6th-

Well...I don’t even know where to begin. I’m feeling everything and nothing all at the same time. After 3 kids I know that feeling, that fluttery feeling I get. I also have the biggest bladder in the world, so not being able to sleep because I have to pee is not my thing. So I drive to the store to get the cheapest Pregnancy test I can find. Funny how cashiers will not look up from scanning groceries, but when they scan something like that they always look up at you. I think they are trying to read you, are you married, or are you emotionally upset, how old you are…. That was the reason I purposefully planned on waiting until my husband had my 3 boys, to roll up in there buying something like that. I mean how silly does that seem, I go into the grocery store with a 4, 3, and 9 month old baby asking where their pregnancy tests are? I’m pretty sure they would direct me straight to birth control pills….UM no thanks, I have all the humiliation I care for at the moment.

So anyway, I headed home with my test, thinking surely it would be negative since, my husband and I had been VERY responsible!
anyway so I take the test and quickly noticed that the horizontal line was the only one showing up…I said a quick “thank you Jesus!” And headed out of the bathroom…only to return a few minutes later to take a second look. I immediately started crying, was the vertical line now brighter than the horizontal one??!?!? Yes it was def a positive. I waited for Brent to come home and the minute I showed him the test, he just looked at me…It took us a few minutes for it all to settle.

I have a baby….I didn’t want another one. I’m nursing too?? Isn’t that supposed to also be a certain percentage in protection against pregnancy? I’m telling you, I KNOW how babies happen, I don’t know how THIS baby happened. I really struggled with what people will think as I did with all my others. That is why I’m choosing to wait to tell people, I want to make sure I really focus on the sovereignty of God and how much of a blessing that life is in the midst of all this death.

I know that God has a plan for my life, accident or not on Brent’s part and mine I know it was all in His plan.

Psalm 139:16- “Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

As I tucked my 9 month old into his crib last night, I thought about fact that I had not even finished HIS nursery yet….I’m not ready to think about getting another one ready.
Cole’s tag along was Eli with 17 months between them, I NEVER though Gage would have a tag along with the same 17 months between he and another.

There are a lot of questions going through my mind, but I’m holding onto the fact that God has bigger plans than I do.

Proverbs 19:21-“You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail.”

So I waited about 4 weeks thinking surely I was 8 right? I meant the tests aren't supposed to work any earlier than 5...not for me.
After going to the doctor I was only 6 weeks and 2 days meaning that pregnancy test picked it up at 2 WEEKS!! That is proof that you never need to spend the expensive money on a test....WOW I didn't even know they would work that early!

anyway Brent and I are VERY excited, we have given it a couple of weeks to settle in.
whether it's 4 boys or 3 boys with a baby sister, we can't wait!
(a girl would be SO fun for me and my boys!)

God is the amazing story writer of our lives, and right now I couldn't be happier.
I love the pregnancy, the birth, holding them and smelling them for the first time!
I never feel more alive than at that moment, this is what I was made for.

I'm excited that God has given me the opportunity to carry another life inside of me.
I can't wait to see this face.

I HAD however lost all of my pre-marriage weight! I was a couple days away from trying me wedding dress on for fun....oh well that will have to wait, LIFE is happening here:)

Abbs*